This week’s theme is 21, as we look forward here in Giddyville for Junior Miss turning 21. What better way to prepare to fork over a boatload of cash to pay for a lavish dinner celebration attended by dozens of other Boneheaded individuals selected to entertain the former European child star Junior Miss Giddy than by reminiscing about those days long ago.
Here’s a one hit wonder from that year that was a huge hit with the Giddy posse of the time.
Here’s a one hit wonder from that year that was a huge hit with the Giddy posse of the time.
When I was 21 I managed a McDonald’s restaurant that is coincidently located only about a mile from our current compound. Owned and operated as one of twenty stores by an independent franchisee, we were always involved in some sort of incentive competition.
Whatever was going on in 1983, the management team from our restaurant won, big. Our McNuggets (launched in 1983 BTW) were the crispiest, our fries, the fattiest, our shakes, the triple thickest. Whatever it was, we came in on top.
It was some sort of points contest, and “X” amount of points equated “X” amount of dollars. The catch was that instead of cash or a check – you accumulated the dollars on a pre-paid company credit card that was to be used towards a nice dinner for the management team.
The contest concluded in November, and just after Thanksgiving, we gathered the stores five managers and one significant other plus the company credit card and went out to dinner. We had $3500.00 to spend on dinner for 6 people.
The challenge was on.
We selected Pier 4 – on the water in Sayville one Saturday night. It was the most expensive and fanciest restaurant on Long Island at the time. It was a disaster of epic proportions.
Imagine if you will, you’ve worked your ass off pulling in overtime for a month just to impress your girlfriend by taking her to dinner at some high class fancy restaurant. You’re sitting at your candlelit table with a nice bottle of wine, some oysters and tiny forks. Nice.
Then you look across the room to six obnoxious drunken assholes hooting and hollering and tossing beets and three bean salad about the restaurant.
That would have been us. We were young, stupid and terribly inappropriate. We had to spend the full boat of the prize money that night or lose it, so we made sure we made the most of every dime. To start, we each ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon. The waitress, thinking it was a joke had her manager come over and ask how we intended to pay.
We handed over the card and told them to let us know when the bill got near $3000. Then we politely asked them to shut the fuck up and get us each our $150 bottles of bubbly. Then we ordered whatever ridiculously extravagant appetizers and entrees we could.
In addition to the champagne there was way too much liquor consumed and we all started making too much noise. We decided it was time for dessert and a nightcap so we ordered a couple of cheesecakes and a bottle of Cognac.
At the end of what had to have been an exasperating evening for the wait staff, the bill totaled just over $2500.00. We left the remaining $975 or so as a tip, signed the receipt and headed out. We may have been a bunch of fucktards, but we tipped well.
Heading home, we popped a cassette (yes, that was the style at the time) in and the first song was Major Tom. Six buffoons cruising back to a McDonalds playing Major Tom over and over and over while singing and bopping along at the top of our lungs.
There’s a reason you’re only 21 once.
Whatever was going on in 1983, the management team from our restaurant won, big. Our McNuggets (launched in 1983 BTW) were the crispiest, our fries, the fattiest, our shakes, the triple thickest. Whatever it was, we came in on top.
It was some sort of points contest, and “X” amount of points equated “X” amount of dollars. The catch was that instead of cash or a check – you accumulated the dollars on a pre-paid company credit card that was to be used towards a nice dinner for the management team.
The contest concluded in November, and just after Thanksgiving, we gathered the stores five managers and one significant other plus the company credit card and went out to dinner. We had $3500.00 to spend on dinner for 6 people.
The challenge was on.
We selected Pier 4 – on the water in Sayville one Saturday night. It was the most expensive and fanciest restaurant on Long Island at the time. It was a disaster of epic proportions.
Imagine if you will, you’ve worked your ass off pulling in overtime for a month just to impress your girlfriend by taking her to dinner at some high class fancy restaurant. You’re sitting at your candlelit table with a nice bottle of wine, some oysters and tiny forks. Nice.
Then you look across the room to six obnoxious drunken assholes hooting and hollering and tossing beets and three bean salad about the restaurant.
That would have been us. We were young, stupid and terribly inappropriate. We had to spend the full boat of the prize money that night or lose it, so we made sure we made the most of every dime. To start, we each ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon. The waitress, thinking it was a joke had her manager come over and ask how we intended to pay.
We handed over the card and told them to let us know when the bill got near $3000. Then we politely asked them to shut the fuck up and get us each our $150 bottles of bubbly. Then we ordered whatever ridiculously extravagant appetizers and entrees we could.
In addition to the champagne there was way too much liquor consumed and we all started making too much noise. We decided it was time for dessert and a nightcap so we ordered a couple of cheesecakes and a bottle of Cognac.
At the end of what had to have been an exasperating evening for the wait staff, the bill totaled just over $2500.00. We left the remaining $975 or so as a tip, signed the receipt and headed out. We may have been a bunch of fucktards, but we tipped well.
Heading home, we popped a cassette (yes, that was the style at the time) in and the first song was Major Tom. Six buffoons cruising back to a McDonalds playing Major Tom over and over and over while singing and bopping along at the top of our lungs.
There’s a reason you’re only 21 once.
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4 comments:
Damn right buddy, to relive those times again. I can;t believe you left a $1000 tip, you should have had all kinds of things off the "menu" from that waitress. Jeesh back then $3500 is equivalent to $100,000. It is ironic thou to see McDonald's send you guy to a classy restaurant.
I was all set to listen to some Bowie but the clip from YouTube is gone, I hate that shit and you just posted this I bet, because I am the first comment. Oh well. I can hear it in my head already. Now back to ground control, adios amigo
Instead of leaving that much of a tip I would have just ordered a bunch of shit to go :) Sounds like you had fun though
Things like that make good memories.Did you guys still keep in touch?
MOB: It's amazing how generous one can get after a bottle or two of ridiculously expensive champagne! Thanks for catching the video - I was able to change it right after I saw your comment - it's always a worry when I prepare some posts ahead of time that it might get pulled for some stupid reason on You Tube.
Ann: Thinking back that would have been the smart move - I think we all felt a little guilty for causing such a mess.
Umi: Sadly, we pretty much all went separate ways within the next year or so - the nomadic life of McDonald's managers. A couple of the crew stayed in the company and moved into some nice executive positions, while others went into less stable endeavors such as advertising and media ;)
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